Great moment in PC gaming Here are bite-sized celebrations of some of our favorite gaming memories.
Crusader Kings 3
(image credits: Paradox)
Developer: Paradox
Year: 2020
Death and betrayal aren’t a new concept in Crusader Kings 3—you’ve probably spent most of its predecessor doing just that—but the random events that can happen make some deaths even more special. What made this particular death even more memorable is that it is certainly something that happened during Scotland’s turbulent feudal history, or perhaps even last weekend. Let me set the scene:
After taking back more land from the British and the Nords, King Malcolm III of Scotland decided, “You know what? I’m going to have a party!” He makes a great spread, inviting his nearest and dearest to celebrate his success. As king, he has enough wine for the festivities. Malcolm can be a little hot at times—okay, he has grumpy, cynical, and arrogant traits, so bear with me here—but overall, he’s enjoying the vibes. Except that Malcolm’s younger cousin, Goby Gospatrick, has decided to come over to tease him while he’s trying to piss off a royal.
This is where things sometimes get out of hand. The gospel can’t even finish calling Malcolm “Rutling Cockscomb” before Malcolm hits him. Face, Mid-pee, this man kills his cousin in the coupon itself. Didn’t even hesitate. What’s worse—the game didn’t even give me a choice. I had no part in the face-stabbing bonanza. It took five minutes of loud laughter before I could make the next decision.
This next decision was a little less shocking, but made sense given the circumstances. You see, Malcolm’s son, Malcolm IV, saw the whole thing going downhill. You can either beg him not to tell anyone, which he will reluctantly do, or you can kill him, as well as quipping, “Talk about being in the wrong place at the wrong time!” The casual humor surrounding this episode and others who love it is what makes Crusader Kings 3’s random events so enjoyable.
A split-second decision like this could change the course of your entire game. Although he swore an oath of silence, since then Malcolm IV was a dick to the king, so he took everything away from him and was practically excommunicated from the family.
Sounds right for Scotland in 20—I mean, 1066.
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